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20-year-old student, manager of a family home praised for moving: “Just Don’t Care”

Members of a popular internet forum have rallied around a 20-year-old student who left her family’s home when no one was watching.

In a viral Reddit post posted to r/AmITheA**hole, Redditor u/Safe_Translator4967 (otherwise known as the original poster, or OP) said that she took on parenting for her siblings when she was in high school. and detailed his refusal. continue as a domestic helper.

Entitled, “[Am I the a**hole] for moving out while my parents are on vacation[?]The post has received nearly 18,500 upvotes and 2,000 comments since October 17.

“I have three siblings who live at home,” OP began. “I am the only one to clean, cook and take care of the dogs.”

Continuing to explain that she is also responsible for the groceries, the original poster said her parents had long set aside her needs in favor of her three brothers, and admitted that the pressure to maintain her home and pursue university studies was “destroying” her.

The original poster also stated that, knowing that her grandparents were paying her tuition, she devised a plan to get out.

“My boyfriend has spoken to his parents and they are letting me move into the apartment above their garage,” OP wrote.

“My parents are away this weekend for NASCAR in Vegas. This is their third vacation this year,” OP continued. “I grabbed my laptop, some clothes and a few other things I have…and left.

“[My parents] drove straight home…everyone is mad at me because I’m so immature and thoughtless…my older brother says I’m an asshole because my parents make him do everything,” OP added.[But] I don’t care anymore.”

Adult children have long been expected to leave home after graduating from high school and finding work, or after finishing college.

However, due to pandemic-related education and employment gaps, rising inflation rates and astronomical housing costs, many more young people are living with their parents than in generations. previous.

This year, data released by the US Census Bureau showed that nearly 60% of young adults between the ages of 18 and 24 still live with their parents.

But while the Pew Research Center reports that financial issues are the main reason for these arrangements, and that there is a greater opportunity for financial help with more than two earners under the same roof, children living at home until in adulthood pose certain risks.

“Usually the scenarios I see are [that] the child won’t get up, won’t do anything…[and] “sponge” the parents”, psychologist and 10 days for a less defiant child author Jeffrey Bernstein, Ph.D., said Newsweek.

“Not motivated,” he added. “Self-destruction by passivity.”

When circumstances are the opposite, however, and an adult child is expected to act as an extension of their parents, there is potential for substantial future growth, but only when family relationships are nurtured and everyone is on the same wavelength.

“People like that end up becoming incredibly responsible [and] juggle multiple things,” Bernstein said.

“They may feel like they’ve been given a lot…but they tend to become ‘doers’ when they have a good relationship with their parents,” Bernstein added.

Young woman overwhelmed by parental expectations. Members of Reddit’s r/AmITheA**hole forum have defended a 20-year-old who said she moved out after being left to care for siblings and her home.
tommaso79/iStock/Getty Images Plus

Throughout the comments section of the viral Reddit post, many Redditors agreed that the original poster’s relationship with his parents was not good and involved a lot more taking than giving from his parents. parents.

“I am sorry for [their] attitudes,” wrote Redditor u/Jstrangways in the main comment to the post, which received nearly 20,000 upvotes. not being there, they will have to deal with everything you have done around the house for them.”

“Good for you to get out of this,” added Redditor u/DinaFelice, receiving nearly 6,000 upvotes.

Redditor u/Helia-axis, whose comment received over 2,000 upvotes, also defended the original poster.

“Basically, my interpretation is that because you are the daughter of the family, you were expected to take on the responsibilities of your parents, older brother and younger brothers,” they wrote. “And now that you’re gone, your brother is upset because he’s not getting lazy anymore.”

“I love how your parents now make your brother do all your old chores,” Redditor u/nariac- said, receiving nearly 4,000 upvotes.

“[Not the a**hole]“, they added.

Newsweek contacted u/Safe_Translator4967 for comment. We were unable to verify the details of the case.

If you have a similar family dilemma, let us know via [email protected] We can seek advice from experts and your story could be published on Newsweek.